This is the deadly sin that makes life awesome 3 proven secrets

This is the deadly sin that makes life awesome 3 proven secretsThis is the deadly sin that makes life awesome 3 proven secretsNo, bedrngnis lust. Calm down. This is not that kind of website.Im talking about pride. When you think about the deadly sins, prides actually kinda confusing. Few ethical people are running around advocating greed. Wrath isnt going to make you a lot of friends. And, as the saying goes, envy is the one deadly sin thats no fun at all.But we all think its okay to be proud of your family, proud of your country, proud of your religion and proud of yourself. We encourage it. Ever wished someone took mora pride in their work? Of course you have.Without some amount of pride theres a void in our lives. An emptiness. And yet we also agree that being prideful is bad. Nobody likes jerks, narcissists or hubris. (In fact, Dante said that pride was the deadliest of the deadly sins.)And the confusions right there in the dictionary. Merriam-Webster has two definitions for prid e. And theyre contradictory.From Take Pride Why the Deadliest Sin Holds the Secret to Human SuccessConsistent with this multiplicity of meaning, Merriam-Websters Dictionary lists two definitions for the English word pride - and two that could not be mora antagonistic. The first is inordinate self-esteem/ conceit. The second? A reasonable or justifiable self-respect.So what gives? When you look at the psychological research, it turns out that pride does come in two flavors. One can give you the motivation and grit to become the best version of yourself. Far from being a deadly sin, it makes you kinder and more compassionate. People who possess this kind of pride are happy, healthy, popular and prestigious.And then theres the other kind. It leads you to cheat, lie and take advantage of others. Its marked by aggression, manipulation and dominance.In professor Jessica Tracys bookTake Pride Why the Deadliest Sin Holds the Secret to Human Success she explains some fascinating new researc h about how pride has enormous power to greatly improve - or irrevocably harm - your life.Youre gonna be proud of something, thats for sure. So its pretty important we learn how to do it the right way.Alright, strap in. Were gonna make some sense of this pride thing What the heck is pride anyway?Studies show that pride is a universal signal of status. Theyve done tests all around the world (even in isolated cultures) and people always recognize the expression of pride at a rate well above what would be predicted by random chance.In fact, when congenitally blind athletes win a competition, they make that recognizable posture chest expanded, shoulders back, a broad smile. Since theres no way they could have binnenseen someone else do this, it would seem pride is hard-wired into us.When you show pride, other people see you as higher status. How powerful is the signal pride sends to others? Crazy powerful. When one job candidate shows pride and the other shows shame, the one who is be aming gets the job - even if they have a much weaker rsum.From Take Pride Why the Deadliest Sin Holds the Secret to Human SuccessParticipants chose to hire the candidate who displayed pride more often than they chose the candidate who displayed shame, regardless of the quality of his or her rsum.Pretty awesome, huh? Pride sounds like a good thing to have. But heres where all the ethical confusion comes from There are two kinds of pride Authentic Pride and Hubristic Pride. Both make you seem higher status and get you respect but they come from very different places and have very different side effects.Authentic pride is when you are pleased with what youve achieved through hard work. Hubristic pride is when you feel youre fundamentally better than everyone else.From Take Pride Why the Deadliest Sin Holds the Secret to Human Success(Authentic Pride) is the pride people feel from a sense of accomplishment, and its the pride that makes them care about others. While hubristic pride enge nders an almost obsessive focus on oneself, authentic pride fosters a sense of compassion and a focus on others. Authentic pride is also what people feel when they attribute their successes to unstable, controllable causes, like effort and hard work.Obviously, hubristic pride doesnt win you any popularity contests. People will respect you, but that doesnt mean they like you. Not exactly a quality you would want to develop in yourself, hence the numero uno spot on that infamous deadly sin listicle.But authentic pride is something we should all be working our best to build. What happens when you derive your esteem from your efforts instead of a narcissistic belief in your innate superiority? Lots of really good stuff, bubba.Authentic pride motivates you. People who feel it literally work twice as hard.From Take Pride Why the Deadliest Sin Holds the Secret to Human Success researchers found that those participants who had been made to feel pride voluntarily chose to work almost twice as long on the new task as participants who had been informed of their performance but not encouraged to feel proud of it. In both experimental conditions, participants knew that they had succeeded. But it was only when they felt pride in their success that they became inclined to repeat that performance. This is important, because it tells us that pride has a causal impact on behavior it made these participants want to persevere.Hubristic pride doesnt have the same effect. It will make you work harder on some tasks - ones that immediately impress other people.From Take Pride Why the Deadliest Sin Holds the Secret to Human SuccessUnlike its authentic counterpart, hubristic pride does not, in general, motivate people to work much more (or less) While a desire for authentic pride pushes people to put in the kind of work that might earn them higher grades, hubristic pride pushes people to work hard when doing so might impress others People who feel hubristic pride will work hard if its clear that theres something in it for them, something like power or status. But they wont do it for the simple sake of feeling good about themselves.Authentic pride increases self-control. Hubristic pride makes you more impulsive and less conscientious.From Take Pride Why the Deadliest Sin Holds the Secret to Human SuccessIn the study of Germans daily temptations, those participants who reported feelings of pride each time they successfully resisted a temptation - each time they chose the apple over the fries - demonstrated a stronger resistance to temptation the next time they faced it.And far from being deadly or being a sin, authentic pride makes you a better person. Those who felt it were more generous and empathetic. People made to feel hubristic pride, on the other hand, became more selfish.From Take Pride Why the Deadliest Sin Holds the Secret to Human SuccessIf there is a silver lining in this research, its our finding that momentary experiences of authentic pride led individuals from this same population to become more prosocial. And, in a final study, we added a measure of empathy and found that authentic pride makes people care more about others, in stark contrast to hubristic pride, which makes people care less.(To learn the 7-step morning ritual that will keep you happy all day, click here.)Okay, the benefits are obvious. So how do you get more authentic pride in your life - and dodge the hubristic pride bullet?1) Ask, What kindof person do I want to be?We all spend a lot of time thinking about what we want. Yachts made of platinum and decade long vacations. But who do you want to be? What character traits would make you proud of yourself? Whats the best version of you?Focusing on those intrinsic factors produces grit and success. Hubristic prides desire to impress doesnt deliver the same results.Researchers looked at over 10,000 West Point cadets. Those that said they only came to the school for intrinsic reasons - like they wanted to be come a good leader - were more likely to graduate, got promoted earlier and were more successful a decade later. Those concerned with extrinsic reasons - like how impressive it would be to say they graduated from West Point - were less likely to graduate or become officers.From Take Pride Why the Deadliest Sin Holds the Secret to Human Success those cadets who cited reasons intrinsic to their identity - factors like wanting to become an officer in the U.S. Army or a strong leader in any domain- ended up with more successful careers ten years later than cadets who chose to attend West Point for reasons external like earning money or because they liked the schools prestigious reputation. The cadets who were motivated by internal factors were more likely to graduate, be promoted early on in their careers, and become commissioned as officers. Cadets who reported external motivations for attending West Point were less likely to graduate or become officers even if they also, simult aneously, reported internal, self-relevant motivations. To attain the best possible career outcomes, individuals need to work hard only for the sake of becoming their best selves and feeling authentic pride in those selves. The critical point, from this study, is that you need to take the time to figure out who you want to be and then work hard to become that person, not for any other external reasons or rewards.We all want to be happy and we all too often think that comes from getting things, not who we are and how we behave. And not only does trying to become your best self make you more successful - research also shows it makes you happier.(To learn the 4 rituals that neuroscience says will make you happy, click here.)So you have an idea of the best version of you. Now what the heck do you do with it?2) Regularly remind yourselfOnce you specify the qualities youd like to have and the character traits youd like to exhibit, youre gonna need reminders because your context exerts enormous influence on your behavior, whether you realize it or not. When youre tempted to be bad, you need a reminder to be good.Work by Nicholas Christakis at Yale shows that when we surround ourselves with the kind of people we want to be, were more likely to become like those people.And the research shows reminders really do have positive effects on your behavior. Thats what leads to improvement and authentic pride in yourself.From Take Pride Why the Deadliest Sin Holds the Secret to Human SuccessWhen were reminded of that identity, or a particular piece of it, we become particularly inclined to behave like it. The net result is that we do things that make us most like whatever aspects of our identity are currently on our minds, regardless of whether these behaviors are good or bad for the rest of our selves.How many religions offer a weekend crash course and then youre a good person for life? None that I can think of. Most have regular get-togethers at a place of worship. And yo ure supposed to pray or meditate frequently. Guess what those are? Reminders.(To learn the 6 rituals that ancient wisdom says will make you happy, click here.)Now whats to stop you from having a good imagination of who you want to be, reminding yourself of who you want to be, and then being filled with hubristic pride over how much better you are than everyone else?3) Focus on effort, not natural abilityWhen you credit your achievements to effort, you know others can get there too. Youre not innately better. And that makes you more likely to be compassionate, helpful and filled with authentic pride.From Take Pride Why the Deadliest Sin Holds the Secret to Human SuccessThis difference - between feeling pride for reasons that are controllable and action-based, as opposed to reasons that are uncontrollable and identity-based- seems to be crucial to the psychological distinction between the two prides. Authentic pride is the emotional response to successes that are hard won and that p eople know occurred as a result of their own efforts. Hubristic pride is the emotional response to successes that are perceived as less effortful and thus less controllable, events that, people believe, occurred simply because of who they are. No wonder authentic pride is associated with feelings of achievement and accomplishment while hubristic pride is linked to egotism and arrogance. If you think you succeeded because of your hard work, you should feel confident, productive, and accomplished. And if you believe you succeeded because of who you are, well, then it makes sense that youd feel pretty great about yourself in a manner that could be described as conceited or smug.(To learn how to stop being lazy and get more done, click here.)Okay, weve learned a lot about the good and bad forms of pride. Lets round it up and learn what to do if you dont have much to be proud of right now Sum UpHeres how to make sure that the deadly sin of pride isnt deadly, isnt sin-ly, and authenticall y helps you be the best youAsk, Who do I want to be? Not What do I want? Or What will impress other people? What qualities would you want others to praise at your eulogy?Regularly Remind Yourself gelber zettel notes, inspirational pictures, whatever will keep you on track to becoming the best you.Focus on effort, not ability You werent born with magic powers. But you can get magic results from hard work. And thats something to be proud of.Pride isnt something to be avoided. Its just got to be the right kind.Maybe you dont have a lot youre proud of right now. Thats okay. As the saying goes, Anyone can be cool, but awesome takes practice. Becoming the best you is a process. No, its not as pleasurable in the moment as bragging or showing off but its an investment in future-you that will pay off - and it wont make you a jerk in the process.The Stoic philosopher Epictetus once said, No great thing is created suddenly.And that great thing can be you.This column originally appeared on Bar king up the Wrong Tree.

What to Do if You Miss a Job Interview Call

What to Do if You Miss a Job Interview CallWhat to Do if You Miss a Job Interview CallSo, youveproperly preparedfor your phone bewerbungsinterview, and your contact doesnt call - now what? Its a frustrating situation, but not an uncommon one. It can happen even when the hiring manager is very interested in interviewing you and everyones intentions are good. What to Do If Your Phone Interviewer Doesnt Call The reason for missing your call can be something as simple as a miscommunication or an inadvertent time mix-up on the part of your interviewer. So, if your interviewer doesnt call, or isnt available when you call for your scheduled interview, heres what to do Dont stress out.If your interviewer misses your call, its most likely not a reflection of you as a candidate. He or she could be caught up in a meeting or on another line, so dont think that the miscommunication will negatively impact your probability of getting the job. Take a deep breath and move on to the next tip.Doub le-check the number to make sure you dialed it correctly.If you called the right number and no one answered, the blames not on you if you cant get in touch. If you didnt call the correct number, dont panic. Start over and try again. If youre a few minutes late, apologize for the delay. If possible, leave a message when they dont answer.State your name, the reason youre calling (for the interview) and the current time, as well as your contact information and how long youll be available to wait for the interviewer to get back to you.Shoot them an email, too.You might say something like Dear Ms. ____________,I am just emailing you in regard to our phone interview scheduled for today at _____ o clock.I called you twice but wasnt able to get in touch. I will be available for another 30 minutes and hope to hear from you by then. If not, I am happy to reschedule at your convenience. Thanks again for the opportunity to interview. Expand How Long Should You Wait for a Call Back? Your time is valuable, so, you shouldnt feel obligated to sit by the phone and wait all day for a callback. Wait at least 15 minutes before giving up, but you shouldnt feel the need to stick around for mora than half an hour. Be patient and polite when deciding to reschedule.Although its annoying to have to reschedule an interview, something may have come up that was outside your interviewers control. Even if it was truly his or her fault, which you dont have any way of knowing, and its still important to be kind and respectful when re-scheduling. If youre irritated, dont show it. Instead, be as flexible as possible when figuring out a new time to talk.Its also a good idea to send your interviewer a brief confirmation e-mail one or two hours before your scheduled appointment.You might write something like Response Confirmation Email Hi Ms. _______,I just wanted to confirm our phone interview in one hour. Im looking forward to speaking with you. Thanks again.Talk soon ExpandWhat happens if y ou decide to reschedule, and they dont answer all over again?Unfortunately, this can happen on occasion, and it can be an extremely frustrating situation. As a solution, binnensee if your interviewer will agree to call you so its on them to get in touch. As always, when you do get in touch and your phone interview is finished, send your interviewer anemail thank-you noteexpressing your gratitude for the opportunity to talk and for their flexibility in scheduling the appointment. What to Do If You Miss the Call Theres another scenario in which you could fail to connect with the interviewer, and thats missing the call on your end. When that happens, your first instinct might be to panic dont. Take a deep breath, get yourself together, and rectify the situation by doing the following Call promptly as soon as youre able to do so.Give yourself a moment to calm down and to assemble everything you needthe job description, your resume, and portfolio, your notes and calendar. Then call b ack right away.Apologize quicklyand briefly.Be accountable, and apologetic, but dont belabor the point. Beating yourself up wont make a good first impression.If now is not a good time for them, reschedule the interview at their convenience. Follow your apology by asking, Is now a good time, or would you have availability at some point this week to talk? or something similar. Keep your calendar close at hand, so that you can be sure that the new meeting time works for you, and dont ?block yourself in when making the appointment. Ideally, you should have plenty of time on either side of the new meeting, in case the hiring manager is delayed, or your conversation runs long.? Remove any obstacles that might prevent you from making the most of the second chance.For example, if your call dropped, make sure youre in an area that has better reception, or use a landline if you have access to one. If traffic held you up, plan your next conversation for a time when youll definitely be at your desk.Most importantly, dont beat yourself up.A lot of things can go wrong when two people try to connect for a phone interview. Technology might fail you, or meetings could run late. Most people understand that life is full of speed bumps and will give a conscientious and responsible candidate another chance.

How to Stay Positive While Job Hunting

How to Stay Positive While Job HuntingHow to Stay Positive While Job HuntingIt is easy to become frustrated or disheartened during a job search, particularly if youve been unemployed or job hunting for an extended period. However, it is important to try to remain positive throughout. Feeling positive will help motivate you to continue with your search. Also, your positive attitude will come across during interviews and networking opportunities, increasing your chances of making a strong first impression. Tips for Staying Positive During a Job Search Here are tips for remaining upbeat and enthusiastic during your job search. Get Organized Take time to get organized. Having everything you need for a job search ready - your resume and LinkedIn profile updated, some references you can use, an interview outfit ready to wear, and a plan for organizing your job search in place- will make the process much smoother.If you havent abfluged job hunting yet, spend time getting set before you start. If youre in the middle of a job hunt, but not having much luck, set aside time to make sure your resume is updated and enticing to prospective employers, your LinkedIn profile is polished and professional, youre connected to the right people, and you have references ready to endorse your credentials.Review our 30 Days to Your Dream Job series to ensure youve titelseiteed the basics you need for an effective job search, and to break your search into manageable steps. Create a Daily Job Search Routine If possible, treat your job search like a 9 - 5 job. For the time being, consider your job search as your full-time job. Wake up early, take a lunch break, and end your job search activities before dinner.Creating a regular routine and keeping your job search organized will keep you focused and motivated. Also, setting a start and end time to your job search forces you to stop thinking about your job search in the evenings, and spend time focusing on other important aspects of you r life, like your friends and family. These time management tips will help you make the best use of the time you have to spend on your job search.Find Time to Not Think About Your Job Search Its easy to have your job search alwaysin the back of your mind. However, excessive worry about your job search only increases your stress and keeps you from enjoying other aspects of your life. Set aside time each day to forget about your job search and do something you enjoy, like going for a walk or to the gym (exercise is an important way to de-stress) or going or a movie. Focus on Your Positives When job searching, it is useful to make a list of your best qualities, skills, and accomplishments. This list will help you when crafting your cover letters and when practicing for an interview. Keep this list where you can see it, and review it regularly. Remembering what makes you a successful job candidate and a talented, unique person will help boost your confidence during the job search proces s.Set Reasonable, Concrete Goals At the start of each week, make a list of specific, manageable goals that you would like to achieve. Perhaps youd like to write five cover letters that week or go to three job fairs. By focusing on small, achievable goals, you will feel mora accomplished throughout your job search. Spend Some Time Networking In-Person Even though you can successfully network online, nothing beats in-person networking. A cup of coffee with a former colleague, client, or friend may get you job leads that you wouldnt have otherwise known about. On a similar note, dont be shy aboutasking your friends and family for job search assistance. The more people who know youre seeking employment, the better your chances of getting hired quickly.Volunteer Helping others is a good way to help you feel more purpose-driven. Find a volunteer organization that is related to your personal interests, or even to your career. Volunteer organizations also provide networkingopportunities. Th e time you spend volunteering can bolster your resume and count as part of your job searching work schedule. Join (or Start) a Job Search Club Joining an organization of other job seekers will provide you with much-needed support. A job club can help you stay on top of your own job search, and may even provide you with job search tips and job leads. Look to networking sites, your local library, or your college career center for possible clubs.Celebrate Small Victories It is easy to focus on the negative during a job search, such as the interview you didnt land or the job you didnt get. Instead, focus on even the smallest wins. Be proud of yourself for getting a phone interview, even if you dont get asked for an in-person interview. Pat yourself on the back when you make a new LinkedIn connectionor someone comments on your blog post. Celebrating the small wins will help you tofocus on the positive. Move On Quickly If you apply for a jobor interview for a position, it is easy to becom e fixated on waiting for a reply from the employer. Yes, you should keep track of the jobs to which you apply, and you can contact the employer if you do not hear a response in a week or two. However, if you dont receive any response, or if you do not get the job, move on. Simply cross that job off of your list and focus on the next opportunity.See Everything as an Opportunity Its easy to become tired of writing cover letters, going to interviews, and networking. However, try to think of each activity as an opportunity that will only make you a better candidate. If you are interviewing for a job, you dont think you want (or dont think you will get), try to think of the interview as a chance to network and towork on your interview skills. Think of each cover letter as the chance to hone your writing and editing abilities. Simply thinking of tasks as opportunities rather than chores will put you in a positive mindset. Focus on What You Can Control You cant control whetheror when an in terviewer will call you back, or whether those networking contacts you emailed will provide you with any leads. If you feel yourself worrying about something that is out of your control, do something that you can control, such as writing and sending out a cover letter, or attending a networking event.By focusing on what you can do to help your job search, you will worry less about what is out of your hands. Even though it might seem like its taking forever, once ready to start your new job it will be worth all the effort you put into getting hired, and the time you spent dealing with a difficult job search.